


True Bluff

by VickyVicarious



Series: Tiny Turnabouts [19]
Category: Princess Bride (1987), 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen, Humor, I expected to write something Princess Bride at some point but never like this, M/M, all characters are AA substitutions except Vizzini, no regrets whatsoever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3994549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VickyVicarious/pseuds/VickyVicarious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles Edgeworth and Vizzini face off in a battle of wits.</p><p>(...in other words, an AA take on the picnic scene.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	True Bluff

"You've beaten my Steel Samurai actor, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could have put the poison in your  _own_  goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you - but, you've also bested my samurai fanatic, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would've put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can  _clearly_  not choose the wine in front of me!" The Sicilian continued to rant, growing more and more animated and manic with each word.  
  
The Demon Prosecutor smirked, finger tapping at his chin. "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work."  
  
"It HAS worked! You've given everything away, I know where the poison is!" the kidnapper exclaimed.  
  
"Then make your choice," the prosecutor demanded.  
  
"I will, and I choose -" Vizzini stopped abruptly, pointing past Miles down the hillside, "what in the world can that be!"  
  
The prosecutor rolled his eyes as soon as his back was turned, then continued to play along until they had both drained their goblets and the kidnapper was snickering.  
  
He waggled a finger at his opponent. "You guessed wrong."  
  
"You only THINK I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned, haha you fool! You fell victim to -"  
  
Abruptly, the masked man slammed both hands down on the stone table, thundering: "OBJECTION!"  
  
Stunned, the Sicilian fell silent.  
  
"You guessed wrong because there was never any poison in the first place," the prosecutor said calmly. "Mr. Vizzini, you are aware that I am a prosecutor, and thus bound to uphold the law, are you not? If I ever found myself in possession of iocane powder it would be purely for evidence to present in court."  
  
"Wait, wh-"  
  
"In fact, it was I who was stalling, while I waited for my useless subordinate to sneak up behind you. Took you long enough, Detective," the Demon Prosecutor scolded.  
  
"Sorry, Mr. Edgeworth," a contrite voice sounded behind him. "I don't think my horse likes me."  
  
Vizzini jumped at the press of a cold, round gun barrel at the back of his neck - and having set down his knife to engage in the battle of wits, he was unable to hold the princess hostage as before. Slowly, he lifted his hands in the air, glaring all the while at the Prosecutor as they were cuffed behind him.  
  
"What are you doing, resorting to cheap brawn like this! This is no battle of the minds!"  
  
The Prosecutor clicked his tongue, waggling a disdainful finger before he began to undo the knots around the blue-suited princess's wrists. "Using my wits to take advantage of my opponent's hubris, and defeating him without any unsightly death - why, that's the only logical course of action."  
  
The Sicilian spluttered indignantly for a long moment, before finally spitting out an: "I....In...INCOOOOOOOOONCEEEEEEIIIIVEAAAABLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!" as he frantically tore out his hair with his cuffed hands. He went faster and faster, until he had no hair left across the entire center of his head and his hands finally stilled in exhaustion; panting, he repeated the word one more time: " _Inconceivable!_ "  
  
"That word doesn't mean what you think it means," the princess contributed, as the prosecutor pulled the gag out of his mouth. "You're thinking of incomprehensible. I know they sound similar, but the difference is like a ladder and a step-ladder - "  
  
He cut off with a gasp, as the blindfold was removed from his spiky hair and his rescuer was finally revealed to him. "Edgeworth, my love!" the princess gasped, "but I thought von Karma killed you!"  
  
"It's a long story," the Demon Prosecutor said stiffly... but then he removed his ruffled white mask, and behind it he was smiling. Vizzini scoffed scornfully at the display of emotion - only to cause Edgeworth's gaze to swing back to him, eyes narrowed.  
  
"As for you, Mr. Vizzini... I wish you luck finding a decent defense attorney, given your victim is the best in the kingdom." (The princess flushed modestly.) "Or... if you wish, you may represent yourself. I will personally oversee your prosecution, so if you really want a rematch..."  
  
The Demon Prosecutor bowed, smirking wide. "I invite you to find out if your so-called genius will be able to defeat my logic  _this_  time."

**Author's Note:**

> The trial will be difficult when Prince Matt and Count Gant speak up in Vizzini's defense, but at least the Demon Prosecutor and his one true love have avoided facing the deadly Blue Badgers in the Forest of Despair. And King Judge is a good man, if a little senile; he'll listen to reason eventually.
> 
> (Title is a reference to what Miracle Max Galactica claimed Mostly Dead Miles said his reason to live was.)


End file.
